Inner Journey – NEW BLOG

please join me as the journey resumes on the new blog: http://theinnerjourney.wordpress.com.

blessings.

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Closure – Inner Journey Blogs

My dearest friends, WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh. It’s been a long while since I updated my blog owing to struggles with health. I’m still building my faith in Akaal Purakh and pray that I may soon return to Chardikala and continue to share my journey. I have so much to talk about and yearn for further vichaar with which we can all come closer to our Waheguru. Life is an extremely mysterious journey and without the guidance of the True Guru (Guru Granth Sahib Ji), we remain forlorn and forsaken . . .I am no longer able to maintain this blog and beg your forgiveness for this failure. I have no other choice, but to leave it at where it has reached and hope and pray that some day, I may be able to continue it, with tireless efforts filled with the Infinite Grace of the Guru.WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh. 

Update on InnerJourney II Blog

WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh.

My deepest, humblest and sincerest apologies to all thos who have been sending me emails and leaving feedback on my blogs for I have been completely out of touch with my blog for a very very long time now. This has been due to a number of combined reasons, much of it relating to my health as I have been unwell on and off. I have also recently quit my full-time job and started my own design consultancy which is demanding a lot of my time and resources and the full set-up is still taking a while (phone line, internet connection, email connection . . . so I’m relying heavily on cyber cafes, for now). I have also become a papa now with a son turning 4 months this week – so that too is demanding a piece of my diary. But all this is taking pace and I’ll soon be settled into a routine (you know how it is for bachelors when they have all the time to do so many other things, but once that certificate – of bacherlorhood – gets replaced by a marriage one, then the earth’s axis changes its course of rotation!).

Now, coming to what’s been happening to my Sikhi-life – I’m still struggling but beginning from zero (I remember on a number of ocassions, praying to Waheguru, “to empty me of me and fill me eith Thee”, so maybe that explains why I feel down and beaten – probably like a rug pegged onto a wire and teh dust beaten out of it!). I have missed my blogs and the wonderful new family of Sikhs I have found through them and eager to touch base with everyone once more (for keeps this time, i pray) so that the Inner Journey can now truly begin – for the past was only in word, and now the time has come to put the today into deed – and of course, not without the Grace and Hukam of our Husband Lord, Waheguru.

So, to all my friends of the InnerJourney – I’ll soon be back online and reply to each one of you personally and humbly beg your forgiveness for the absence in communication.

Until then, may the Grace of Akaal Purakh be with you all.

WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh.

Lakhvir Singh Khalsa

The battles of the within

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WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh.

It’s been a long while since I last posted on this blog, and even longer since I have been keeping unwell. In short, all I can say is that I have been in a state of unrest, dis-ease and constant inner battles that have defied me any understanding of what is happening to me. All this has been causing me immense anxiety, panic and depression due to which I have lost touch with many things in life. I can bare it all to my friends who read my blog, that I am no longer able to get up at Amritvela, do my paath and listen to Kirtan anymore. I know I still love to do all this, but something within has drained me away from all the things that bind me to my Guru. I no longer feel at ease due to which I feel no excitement about all the things I loved to do, and would still love to do. May be it is a spiritual message that Waheguru is trying to project (to an awakening, or enlightening) or it could all be due to the fact that I have burnt-out myself in all aspects of my life. I no longer find life that enjoyable divine gift and it is a scary thought every time I wake up in the morning. I have had friends and family tell me that I think too much and that there really is nothing wrong with me, but then I question myself further as to why then I would not be feeling better? I have cried and sobbed at the feet of my Guru but I feel little comforted, but nevertheless, I know that His Abode is the only one I seek to the last breaths of my life.

Every single day has been a battle with my mind, body and soul and they are all clashing. I simply do not know what is happening to me and that is what is causing all my anxieties. Prayer and paath I can no longer do because ‘something’ keeps pulling me away from it. I fight, every single moment and I feel I’m losing the battle. I sometimes like to imagine that somehow, sometime, my Guru will come and pull me out of my darkness. Until then, I feel dejected, defeated, abandoned, lifeless. I don’t know what phase of my spiritual life my Guru is taking me through and I pray and hope to come out of it soon.

If you do have a moment, please do an Ardas for your brother for I need all the Guru’s Sangat that I can get. I believe that the prayer done by Guru’s Sangat never goes unanswered.

I remain the dust of the feet of the Guru’s Sikhs and humbly seek to live in the Hukam of Akaal Purakh Waheguru so that I may be granted the gift of Seva, Simran and Sangat of the Sikhs of the True Guru.

WaheguruJi Ka Khalsa. WaheguruJi Ki Fateh.